1. The pneumatic tube revolution is upon us! People will no longer read books as hardbound copies cannot be rolled into tube-like fashion and sent whooshing from building to building. Extrapolating data shows that pneumatic tubes will be installed in 78% of American homes by the end of the century.
2. Library budgets must be slashed to fund the War between the States.
3. The Library Company of Philadelphia is in the hands of fifteen-year-old George Maurice Abbot, a known lay-about and malingerer. Meanwhile the director, Lloyd P. Smith, has lost William Penn’s desk.
4. Kinetoscopes will kill the publishing industry.
5. Impressionism and a disrespect for art and literature.
Yes, this is completely satirical and invented to make a point in Dumping on Libraries for Pageviews.
Dang, I was getting all excited about the pneumatic tubes!
OK, this made me laugh, loudly. Many thanks.